If You Feel Just like a Tourist.

The Last Day.

2012-02-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

So since Saturday I've been hanging around the base with Michelle. Today's our last day in Mexico.

It's been weird hanging out here, without my DTS family. It was so hard saying goodbye as they slowly trickled away to the airport. I cried a lot. It seemed like little pieces of my heart were getting ripped out and it was horrible. I believe our staff leaders did a pretty good job of explaining reverse culture shock and how hard it would be... but still. My family is gone. This may very well be the most melancholy blog post.. But I miss my family. I miss the last five months. I'm not sure I'm ready to go home, and to get back into North American culture. Blagh.

I am going to miss Mexico. I miss my family sooo much... especially my outreach team.

Post-Graduation.

2012-02-18T12:03:00.000-08:00

We are done.

Saturday, February 11, we left Oaxaca and flew into Los Angeles. On the drive back down to Ensenada, I fell silent and blocked out the excited chatter of my teammates. As I stared off into the ocean, I realized I had no words to aptly explain the wave of emotions I was feeling. Part of me was overwhelmingly happy to be finished outreach, and I was elated at the accomplishment I felt. Two months. Two months of mostly cold showers, oppressing spiritual warfare, pouring out into others, tears, more tears, joy, exhaustion, peace, bringing people to the Lord, pouring into relationships.

The other part of my heart was so crushingly sad that I cried. As people were chattering in the background, I realized how each member of Team Chewbacca has become my family. Klaus, Tony, Cory, Colton, Steph, Kiley, Jessie, Ester, Gaby, Ellie, Peta and Rheanne have really become my second family. I cried as I realized... being done means saying goodbye. I never realized it was possible to take a group of twelve strangers from seven countries... and call them family after two months of doing life together.

As a family Team Chewbacca has been through a lot. I think for everyone the Dominican Republic was difficult because the spiritual warfare was so tangible. We had several occasions when we woke up in the middle of the night and prayed together. Times where we all felt so dry that we just sat in a room and prayed for each other.. for hours. We were all devastated when Federico died. Everyone was worried when Cory got sick and couldn't fly to Oaxaca right away. I wasn't there, but I heard stories that everyone pulled together to put out the massive fire. Everyone prayed for me when I was in the hospital. As a family we saw the mountaintop, and we crashed in the valley. We saw little children in the Dominican with huge, open, gaping wounds because a witch cursed them. We pulled together as a team in the tough times, and enjoyed each other's company on our few days off. We collectively drank way too much coffee and got not enough sleep.

This chapter of my life is done. This season is coming to a close. Thursday night was our graduation and it was horribly bittersweet. Such a sense of accomplishment, such a season of growth, finished. Since then people have been trickling off to the airport and saying goodbye has been nothing short of horrendous. I surprised myself at how attached I am to my DTS family. Saying goodbye has left the biggest ache in my chest. Even writing this brings such a raw emotion. Jessie and Ester especially. You girls know that you're closer to me than I can even express. Not seeing you every day, not falling asleep to you ten feet away, not laughing with you, has made me so horribly sad. I've heard the term "post DTS depression" and laughed it off, thinking that was cute, but I now know whoever coined that phrase was not joking.

I'm currently sitting in the YWAM San Diego office. Two more of my family members are leaving this afternoon; tonight I'm picking up Michelle and we're going to hang out in Ensenada for a week. So ridiculously happy to see her, so unbelievably sad DTS is over. So glad for this season of growth and renewal in Christ.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

LAST WEEK!!

2012-02-07T11:23:00.000-08:00

HEY ALL!

This is our last week of outreach!!!! On Saturday we will be back in Ensenada!! (Not that I'm excited or anything.)

Anyways. My last week of outreach is looking a lot different than the rest of my team's. Because of the situation with my back, I was not able to go with my team to the village for this week. Also doing any kind of physical labour is completely out of the question for me right now. So. I am hanging out on the base, which is Esau and Ale's house. At first I was super opposed to the idea of being here while my team is gone. The first night, I moved from the girl's house down the road to the guy's room, which is on the base property. I was still awake at 6 am - it was too quiet!! I have been used to living in community and having a houseful of roommates, and my first night of silence in five months sent me for a loop.

However. Being on the base has been really awesome. I think I needed this time, because before this I was running on fumes and not sure I'd make it to the end without burning out. I'm calling this week my "pre-debrief debrief week." Next week in Ensenada is our debrief week, but I guess I kind of get two. My staff gave me a list of things to do - a few teachings to listen to, team blogging, slideshow, intercession etc. So it's been really nice. I didn't know how much I missed quiet time until I got it back this week!! I am definitely missing my team, but the quiet has been more welcome than I had imagined. Since I have to take it easy for my back anyways, it's nice to have a bit of my own schedule this week. I've also spent a lot of time with the family that lives here, and they are great. Ale is studying to be a nurse too! She speaks English, so her and I talk about nursing a lot. Today I helped Hannah (their daughter) sort clothes for a thrift store for an hour and a half.

YWAM teaches you to be flexible - I definitely appreciate that, especially this week. It hasn't gone at all how I've expected it to, but then again I never expected I'd be in a Mexican hospital having as many troubles with my back as I have. I've had time to catch up with a lot of people from back home, tons of time to pray, tons of time to just be with my Father.

Please continue to pray for my back, and for restoration. I'm still in a lot of pain and am waiting for the day I get back to Canada so I can start physiotherapy, go to my chiropractor again and go to massage therapy.

Also, yesterday was Bob Marley's birthday. One love.

Mexican Hospital Adventures.

2012-02-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

Hey all.

So this week I experienced my first adventure in a Mexican hospital. It included...

mystery drinks
eating cactus
flooding the bathroom while taking a shower... the drain didn't work.
attempting to get dressed again after said shower... It's hard, when you're attached to an IV.
realizing how minimal my Spanish is when it comes to medical terms.

Basically I've had back problems this whole outreach, and for the last week I've been in a ton of pain. Tuesday night I got the most severe migrane I've ever had in my life and my whole back spasmed so they took me to a really nice hospital in Oaxaca. I was there Tuesday night until Thursday afternoon, just getting drugged up and doing some x rays. Now I'm back on the base, migrane is nearly gone, but my back is still in rough shape. If you could pray for me that would be awesome!! We literally have 8 days of outreach left and I'm not sure what I will be able to do. The next 3 days I'm ordered on bed rest, and we'll see from there.

Kind of getting lonely. The last week I have not been going out with my team to do ministry, and it looks like that may be the next week too. I thankfully have lots of reading material and lots of time to pray and hang out with Jesus!!!

Thanks for checking in with my blog, feel free to shoot me an email or Facebook message - I'd love to hear from you!

pray.

2012-01-27T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

So. I have a prayer request! Some of you know I have a pretty bad back. I've had back problems for about 4 years now. Right now I'm hurtin'. I have rotated spinal discs and that's forcing two of my ribs out of place. Very painful. Very difficult to deal with in the south of Mexico where chiropractors are pretty sketchy. Today I'm headed to a back specialist, I guess we'll see how this all goes down. If you could pray for wisdom for this doctor, that would be grand!!

Thanks team! I love you!

Home Stretch?

2012-01-26T04:41:00.000-08:00

HEY ALL!

So yesterday we had our first free day in about two weeks. It was fabulous. We got to go see some Zapotec ruins and then spent the rest of the afternoon in the downtown market. The ruins were AMAZING!! I'll put pictures up on Facebook at some point. SO COOL!

Spending the afternoon at the market was so fun! The only downside was majorly feeling like a tourist. I hate that feeling. Everyone wanted us to buy their stuff and by the end of it I got somewhat frustrated. I life in Mexico, and I haaaaaate feeling like a tourist. Worst feeling ever.

Today is a long day. From 8 am to 3 pm we are building a roof, and tonight we're doing ministry at a hospital. It's currently 6:40 am. We're leaving for the build site at 7:30. We finish at the hospital tonight at 8 pm. Long day.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support. Love you all. See you soonish.

THREE WEEKS

2012-01-21T11:59:00.000-08:00

Threeeeeeeeeeeee weeks until we are back in Ensenada!!!!

I am so excited. Three weeks to bless people, and three weeks to be shaped by my Father. I can't wait to be back in Ensenada as well.

Please pray that we finish strong. Everyone is gettin' tired, but I know that God is bigger than that.

Oaxaca!

2012-01-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

Hey all!
After a very long day of travel most of us are safe in Oaxaca. Cory and Peta are not here yet, because Cory got very very sick and also their flight got cancelled. Steph and Klaus have returned to us safely though.

We flew from Santo Domingo, DR to Panama City, to Mexico City, to Oaxaca. We left at 5:30 in the morning and arrived late in the afternoon in Oaxaca. It was such a long day of travel, but it went fairly smoothly. We had a few short layovers and not much time to get from gate to gate. However for the most part it went ok. Just waiting on Peta and Cory now.

Today we have a free day to rest and recover. I'm quite grateful for that - I'm pretty tired and have a migrane. Tomorrow we're headed to do ministry in a hospital!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED FOR THAT!!!!

Thanks for the continued prayers. I love you guys and miss being home.

Mourning.

2012-01-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

Please be in prayer for YWAM San Pedro.

Yesterday one of the local Dominicans, a mission builder and a friend, named Frederico drowned in the pool. He was twenty years old - the same age as me.

Please please pray. Pray for his family and friends. Some of them came to the base and their wails absolutely broke my heart. Pray for his church, in which he was active in leading worship. Pray for the staff on the base here. They have faced more hardships in less than a year than others face in a lifetime. Pray for the DTS students who were present at the time of the death, especially those who tried to save his life. Pray for each person this man of God impacted and who are mourning his loss.

Philippians 1:21 "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain"

Praise God that Frederico knew his Father, and is now looking Jesus in the eyes. Thank the Lord for the powerful testimony this man had.

Nearing the End.

2012-01-13T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hello beloved friends and family!

It's hard for me to believe our time in the Dominican Republic is almost done. Today is our free day and I am taking full advantage of it! Blogging, beach time, lunch out with my team, and relaxing. Now don't get me wrong, being a missionary does NOT look like this on a daily basis! I am trying to rest up because tomorrow, Sunday and Monday we're building a house!! I am so excited for this. A big part of house builds in the Dominican Republic is keeping the kids off the build sites. So we have a lot of long days ahead of us, building in the heat and trying to keep Dominican kids occupied for +5 hours... Should be interesting.

Early Tuesday morning (like 4 am) we fly out to Mexico!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO! I am quite excited. I have loved the Dominican Republic but I will not miss the men here. I have decided that I am not going to marry a Latino man, after being surrounded by them for a month. My time here has been stretching for sure and God has taught me a lot. I have grown and been blessed by so many people, but I am excited to move on. I'm so excited to see what God has for us in Southern Mexico. The first week we will be split up and living with families in a remote village. So that means no internet for me!

God has been blessing me richly. Currently dealing with some sickness, but God is so much bigger than that. I hope you all have a blessed weekend. Please pray for my team as this weekend building will be very hot and tiring, and in the midst of that we have to pack and be ready to leave early Tuesday. Thanks so much for your prayers and for reading my blog!

The first week of 2012.

2012-01-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

I know this is a little late in coming, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope and pray your holiday season has been filled with renewal, joy and peace. Now as things get back into full swing at school or work, I pray you feel ready to face 2012!

So, I am now working on two blogs, this one and another one outlining the journeys of my outreach team. Please take a look at http://ensenadaoutreach.weebly.com/ to check out what my team is doing!!

In case you don't feel like reading two blogs of mine... here's the recap.

New years was very different for me, but we spent New years eve celebrating with the Denver outreach team that was here and the staff. We rang in the new year praying for what is to come. New Years day we had a day off and most of us spent time on the beach - even though it rained.

January 2 Ensenada outreach left for Santo Domingo to spend a week with Pastora Veronica. What a fiery, compassionate woman of the Lord. She runs a church for kids and also a feeding program. The area we were in was mostly Haitians, the conditions were very poor. We spent the week sleeping on mattresses on the floor and having very cold showers. The schedule was much more relaxed than in San Pedro. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays we helped serve food to the kids.

One thing I found very shocking was just how rough the culture there is. Kids engage in sexual acts at very young ages. Many of the boys have toy guns. Women there are treated like objects. It was not the most comfortable week for most of us - being faced with these things daily. We did a lot of programs, many of them for kids. We also did street evangelism and did programs in a park. We did one service in a brothel, while men came and went. That was very challenging. The whole time we were in Bienvenidos, many of us had heavy spirits. It was not the easiest week. It was however a week of firsts for me....

first time seeing a kid point a toy gun at me with genuine anger in his eyes
first time speaking in a brothel
first time nearly blowing up a building lighting a gas stove (Mom sorry if you're reading this...)
first time I've experienced an earthquake.

Being in such poor environment really made me think how much I take for granted in life. For example, internet. Hot water. Safety. Security. Being able to sleep at night with no noise. Seeing the environment these kids are growing up in makes me sad. They have to be tough, or else they'll get walked all over. To be honest, I felt relieved when we returned to the San Pedro base. I finally felt I could breathe again. God definitely stretched us this week, and I was blessed by so many kids. Now I'm excited to sleep... So that I can wake up tomorrow morning and say, "What's next God?"

If you could pray for energy and endurance for my team that would be much appreciated :) God bless you all!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

Well we've been in the Dominican Republic since Monday and it's been amazing!!

The weather here is great, it's over 30 degrees every day. The base is small, but quite homey. There is an outreach team here from YWAM Denver as well. There's a pool on base, but that's mostly to keep cool from the heat!

Every day we have been going to different places to do ministry. I have never played with so many beautiful black kids in my life!!! Every day that we do ministry there are a ton of kids that just want to be loved. We have a bit of a schedule, one day a week we go to a specific place and do ministry. The kinds of things we are doing includes kids ministries, with games, songs, stories and crafts. We have done dramas in the streets, testimonies in the streets, and lots of ministry. Several people have come to Christ simply because some members of my group have stopped and followed the leading of the Holy Spirit and talked to someone on the walk home to the base. Lots of children have heard the name of Jesus because of the work my team has been doing for Him.

I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas from the beautiful Dominican Republic. Be sure to take lots of ti to enjoy your family this Christmas season - because in my case, once you're away from your family during the holidays, you realize how much you miss them.

I love you all and thanks for checking out my blog :) Outreach pictures will be on my Facebook page. God bless you.

Prayer Request.

2011-12-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

Hey team.

In ONE DAY team Panama/Costa Rica is leaving. One of their members, Becca, still needs around $1000 and is faithfully relying on God to provide.

In TWO DAYS Team Chewbacca (AKA Domincan Republic and Oaxaca) are leaving and Cory still needs about $1300 as well. Stubbornly, faithfully believing God will provide. Both have been busy calling people they know and trying to do some last minute fundraising.

Stirring your heart strings at all?? Send me a message. I can walk you through the steps to help my bro and sister. If you can't help financially (and it's totally fine if that's the case.. this is not a guilt trip!) Please continue to be in prayer for both teams! Things are winding up in Mexico, packing and cleaning are in full swing. So soon both teams will be embarking on such an adventure for Christ. Thanks for following my journey thus far.

PACKING PACKING PACKING

2011-12-15T17:32:00.000-08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I can't believe people are packing. Lecture phase is OVER. Today is Thursday. Panama/Costa Rica team is leaving on Saturday, and my team (Dominican Republic/Oaxaca) leaves on Sunday morning.

We fly out of Los Angeles Airport on Monday morning at 7:45 AM. My dorm room is a distaster right now. Clothes and suitcases litter the floor. Ten days til Christmas... but no White Christmas for me this year, unless you count the white beaches in Dominican Republic. ...That made it sound like a holiday. It won't be.

This outreach is looking like potentially one of the hardest things I'll do in my life. The DR is going to be HOT and muggy all the time - it doesn't get cooler than 24 in the evenings and gets up to 37 or 38 in the day, with about 50% humidity. Oaxaca.. well I've heard horror stories about the food there!

Super excited, super nervous. Your prayers are appreciated!!!

Week 11 - Jeff Pratt/Final Week!

2011-12-10T11:18:00.000-08:00

I'm still reeling at the thought that lectures are over.

I'm currently sitting on the roof, basking in the sunshine, watching the tide come in, listening to Sigur Ros. My fingers still on the keyboard; I'm at a loss for words. How to explain how the last eleven weeks have changed me? The English language seems grossly inadequate to encompass what this school has meant to me.

Jeff Pratt week was the perfect way to tie this entire school together. He spoke on the Father Heart of God. I'm sure most of us have been told "You're a son/daughter of the King" many times in our lives - but have we taken the time to unpack that? Jeff Pratt spoke on God's ridiculous love for us and we can only have enough passion in our lives as we realize God has for us (1 John 4: 19) It's important to realize as well that our Father has been pursuing us since before we were born. He's had a plan for my life from the point that I was a thought in God's mind and a dream in His heart.

The more we realize who God is... the more we worship Him and have passion to pursue His calling over our lives. Sometimes this passion is stilted or cut off by wounds in our lives... "Our past needs to be reconciled so our present can be filled with power, and our future with hope" Jeff spoke also of seasons of captivity. Sometimes we walk through difficult times. We walk through what feels like hell. Our society is one that is driven by comfort, and when things get difficult we immediately get mad at God and ask WHY. The treasures stored up for us in Heaven are not for casual lookers but those who desperately seek God's face in seasons of captivity. Jeff said something that really stuck with me... "Don't just accept your captivity, embrace it. Realize God in it" What a message to wrap the school up with! Everything Jeff said resonated so deeply with me.

And now. 9 days left in Mexico. Several of those will be spent in Tijuana at the base for a conference and possibly a day in San Diego. I have a sermon to write, skirts to alter, student loan papers to re-do (FJL:JSLAFHJ:SDFJL"L:J GOVERNMENT WHYYYY) and lots of people to talk to. Please please let me know if you want to Skype with me in the next 9 days. I'm missing people from back home right now. Let's talk.

Prayer Request!

2011-12-07T22:14:00.000-08:00

Hey friends, family and followers.

Just want to throw out a quick prayer request. In 12 very very short days my team flies out to the Dominican Republic. In 10 very very short days the other team flies out to Panama. There's a few people still struggling with raising money for this trip. Last time I checked, my DTS on the whole needs about 12 000 dollars still. That number may have decreased a bit in the last few days, I'm not sure. Anyways, if you are looking for a ministry to support, consider supporting one of my brothers or sisters!! Please contact me if you're interested and I can send out giving details.

Also, please pray for our teams as we make final preparations for this outreach. We have 12 (or 10) days to finish books, write journals, write sermons, write book reports, pack, clean, conference in Tijuana, and say our goodbyes. A lot of work is being put into this outreach and a LOT of hours of preparation each week. Pray that we finish strong and rest up before embarking in the most intense two months of our lives!

Thanks!

Week 10 - Tom Bloomer Week.

2011-12-05T23:20:00.000-08:00

Swiss chocolate, princess stories and a very wise man blessed me very much this past week!

Tom Bloomer from Switzerland brought a new perspective to our DTS. He is an older gentleman from Switzerland who has been serving with YWAM for 39 years!!! His wisdom blessed me. At the beginning of the week I admit I was a little skeptical. He started off by telling a princess story on Monday and I wondered where the week would go.

To my delight, Tom blessed me immensely with his knowledge. He continued on to speak on hope and faith and really inspired me. I took diligent notes and Friday rolled around in no time. That evening, we went to Bajio's and blessed the people in the red light district. I practiced my Spanish a lot that night, conversing with a group of prostitutes and two gentlemen as we handed out soup and tea.

The weekend was quite intense for me emotionally and mentally. And I tend to think over things at night time - when I should be sleepin' (like right now). Prayer warriors, please pray against the spirit of insomnia. Its wearing me down, and I have 2 weeks to minimize this sleep debt and rest up beforeeeeeee.... DOMINICAN REPUBLIC. Lots of work to do before then. Sermon. Finish book. Write book report. Christmas parties. One week of lectures left. Pack. Write. Write. Write. Bless people. Hang out with God. Two weeks.

It Is Well.

Revelation.

2011-11-29T18:32:00.000-08:00

God has been revealing his artistry to me.

Today I went for a run. If you know me, you'll know I really don't enjoy running. However I was done my work duties early and had an hour before dinner, and God said "GO!" so I went.

I'm so glad I did. Our YWAM base is right beside the Pacific Ocean. I usually run when I'm frustrated, and I didn't realize how much frustration I had pent up today. As I ran I kept my eyes focused on the abandoned hotel a few miles down the beach. That was my destination. However. I stopped short as I realized that I was completely ignoring the beauty that was to my side!

The tide was coming in, the waves were rolling in close to my feet, and the sun was setting. The sky was exploding in vibrant orange, red and yellow. The receding light cut a path through the waves and the clouds stretched across the span of the sky in varying pastel colors.

I realized... God himself orchestrated that brilliant display of color. How could I possibly focus on my petty frustrations, or my aching legs, when the heavens were exploding in pure art!!! I was absolutely floored by this astounding display. My run transformed from a time of pounding out my own frustration to a time of unhindered praise. It was if God was saying ..."look bigger. Stop focusing on the hotel and your frustrations, and just ENJOY ME." I certainly did :)

Love song.

2011-11-26T23:31:00.000-08:00

If you have not heard "You're Beautiful" by Phil Wickham, pleeeeease please go listen to it. I think often we look at God's creation and think "oh that is beautiful." ...How often have you prayed and said to God, YOU are beautiful?

I see your face in every sunrise
the colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
the world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see your power in moonlit night
where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
we are amazed in the light of the stars
it's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then You died and then You rose again for me
now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne
soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
where death is just a memory and tears are no more
we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful

(YouTube song here)

That's all. I love you, whoever may be reading this!

Week 9 - Evangelism

2011-11-25T15:33:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to The Civil Wars (Thanks Jessie for your wide array of music!) and enjoying a quiet Friday. Our schedule this week/weekend is all jumbled. Some of my DTS classmates are off building a house today, while others of us stayed behind and cleaned up the base.

Yesterday I had my first American Thanksgiving, in Mexico! There were about 160 people on the base for Thanksgiving dinner. It was kind of strange, since Thanksgiving should be in October, spent with my family. I spent a lot of my afternoon helping carve turkeys and fellowshipping with others in the kitchen. The list of things I'm thankful for exceeds my attention span to write them all down! It was such a good day though, and I am so very grateful for the family I have here in YWAM Ensenada.

Our speaker this week was from Australia!! For anyone who follows me at King's... He reminded me so much of Dr. Peet, with an Australian accent, on crack. He was so energetic and passionate about speaking about evangelism. I quite enjoyed his words, however I found I didn't get as much out of this week as I potentially could have. It seems everyone on base has been having trouble sleeping lately - or just trouble going to bed on time. We've been here for over two months, and I guess it's just "that time" where we've hit the pinnacle of our time here and are starting to wrap things up.. and everyone's schedule has been somewhat disrupted by the sheer number of people on the base.

Last night after Thanksgiving Dinner we had a talent show! It was so fun. Hmmm. Thoughts are popping up about the Christmas talent show... What songs to perform. I've got an itch to be back up on stage, I realize how much I've missed singing and playing the piano.

Today I've been enjoying the sunshine. I was sitting in the courtyard today doing my homework and I thought of the benediction line "and may the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you" - I imagine that's what it feels like. To be blessed with the rays of the sun gently kissing my face.

To each of you who read this... I love you and miss you. I wouldn't say I'm terribly homesick, but feeling nostalgic today. Missing old friends, and old times. I hope lots of people read this blog and are blessed by it. If you know someone who may be interested in following my DTS journey, please feel free to send them the link to my page. Love you all.

Week 8 - Destiny

2011-11-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

God let us laugh this week.

After NIKO, Kenny Peavy and Tim Pratt, all of us were in dire need of a good laugh. Brenda Lewis brought a fresh perspective, and lots of smiles. She used to be a hippie in the 70's and now is a YWAM speaker. She shared her heart for India and the work she's done there. When she showed a video of her ministry in India (Hope of Glory Foundation - check out http://hogfindia.wordpress.com/) I felt a stirring in my heart. God nudged me and said "My daughter. Keep this in mind." God also confirmed to me that I'm to go back to nursing school in September.

For a while I was flirting with the idea of just being a YWAMer - joining as full time staff and serving in that regard. The only problem was then I'd be throwing my dreams of being a nurse out the window. Entonces. God confirmed to me that I'm to go back to school. Once I'm a nurse, I will be able to serve God using my gifts more. Brenda encouraged us to dream big, and had us draw out what our hopes and dreams are for where we will be in 10 years. I realized that if I was a YWAMer I would disregard God's plans for me to be a nurse. In 10 years I want to have the title RN after my name. I want to be married. I don't know if I want to have kids, but I know for sure that I want to be doing mission work in some form with my husband. I realized I really don't want a comfortable life, living in a little house with a large disposable income. I want to be used by God, and I want to travel the world using my skills as a nurse to bless people in developing nations - in whatever form God calls me to. Brenda encouraged us to dream big with God. To realize these dreams and to put them to paper was exciting! God has big plans for me! ...Now I just have to figure out where I want to go to school. Minor detail :)

We're hitting almost 2 months of DTS. I'm still loving it, but community living definitely has its downfalls. For one, it's hard to be alone. It's nearly impossible to be an introvert because everyone is wondering where you are, if you're okay, why you're not talking... I sometimes need alone time. That is hard here. Personality types can clash, and people can definitely be frustrating. I'm sure I too have frustrated others. There's literally nowhere to be alone. Through this aspect God is stretching me too and challenging aspects of my character. He is challenging me on what loving my brothers and sisters in Christ really means. Not simply tolerating them in frustrating moments, but extending the love and grace that I have been blessed with.

God is good, and I am incredibly blessed to call him my Daddy.

Week 7 - Unity

2011-11-13T00:44:00.000-08:00

What a week.

Our speaker this past week was Tim Pratt, and he addressed unity. Our outreach teams are decided, and we are beginning to meet more frequently to discuss what our outreach will look like, who needs to raise more money, and the like.

This week was very emotional, because one of the things Tim addressed with us was Vulnerability Based Trust. Being honest and open with other team members and building trust from that place of openness. Many people shared things that were on their hearts, things that had not been addressed during our testimony time. Many tears were shed. People shared things that hurt deeply. Even Tim was brought to tears as he shared what was on his heart.

We did many team building exercises, outside in the ocean and then in the mud. The point was to see how we worked together in a team, with various "handicaps" - for example, for a while all the guys were blindfolded. Or, only those who spoke English as a second language could speak.

After this, we did personality tests and analyzed in our teams what our strengths were and where we might run into problems in outreach. I thoroughly enjoyed Tim's teaching. He is such a man of God. I respect him immensely for being vulnerable with us, and not just being the "leader." He really showed me a father heart.

I find it's becoming a common theme for me to sleep in on Saturdays, and stay up late during the weekends. After such intense, heavy weeks our weekends are time to just relax and enjoy some free time. Today a bunch of us went to a movie, and had great adventures coming home in the torrential downpour. Can't wait for what next week will bring!

Week 6 - The Holy Spirit

2011-11-05T23:57:00.000-07:00

What a week.

Kenny Peavy was here speaking to us about the Holy Spirit. I don't have the words to properly articulate all that happened. If you ever have the privilege to meet this man... take his words to heart. He is such a powerful testament to how having a personal, 'vertical' relationship with the Lord can set your mind and your life ablaze.

One of the exercises he had us do was to stand in a circle and to speak out which aspects of our lives needed to be gone. My fellow classmates spoke out things such as the spirit of the fear of man, the spirit of insecurity and comparison, the spirit of doubt, and it went on and on. After that we had a figurative bonfire, ready to be completely burned up. (Think Old Testament altars) It was freeing to know that identifying such aspects in our lives and allowing God to burn them up.

Another thing that really impacted me was entering the presence of the Lord. Psalm 100:4.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

All we need to do to enter His gates is give Him thanks!!! Then to enter the courts of the Lord, simply praise Him! At this point the Holy Spirit was so present in the room, it was tangible. The air was so thick with the Spirit that you felt it when you breathed! There are no words to explain it.

For a long time, people have prayed over the YWAM Ensenada base for a revival. For a new spirit to be upon this base. This week, we saw the beginning of this revival. Things are changing and there is a NEW NORMAL!! Last night I was praying for Sarah D at about one in the morning. Matt walked in and said "LOOK AT THIS!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING!!" There is a new normal coming for YWAM Ensenada, and that norm is revival! God is doing so many things on this base!! Today five people got baptized in the ocean. The waves were ridiculously high, and they crashed and roared in the background as if God was saying "YEAAH!! These are my kids!!!!!"

It has been a ridiculous week, and many people overcame battles. God has changed hearts, and opened doors. He has blessed and He has restored. Amen.

Week 5 - NIKO.

2011-10-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

I conquered NIKO.

What a week. Our packing list was very limited. Tuesday afternoon we met in the classroom to discuss rules and get our bags checked. We were told no schedule, just that we would find out as the week went on. We were not told what to expect.

As we packed the vans, I felt unease creeping up. I have heard NIKO stories from my old YWAM friends, so I somewhat knew what I was getting myself into. What I didn't realize was how AMAZING this week would be!!! When we got dropped off, we were split into our teams and introduced to Kevin, the lamb. We were given somewhat vague instructions and told to head off. My team hiked around for hours looking for the next meeting place, where we would spend the night.

We were awakened at 2 am and told to pack up - with very little time before our next hike. The week was full of hiking, more than I have ever done in my life. Lots of uphill hiking, which challenged me physically and mentally. Our food rations were enough to keep us going, but I was hungry a lot of the time, courtesy of my high metabolism.

One thing that really stuck out to me was a talk about giving up our rights. During this week, I had to give up my right of sleeping all night. I had to give up my right to sleeping in comfort, in a bed. I gave up my right to personal hygene, including soap and toothpaste and deoderant. (On that note - baking soda works well for both toothpaste and deoderant!!!!) I had to give up my right to knowing a schedule, and knowing what was next. It really made me think about the apostles. Before modern hygene and modern conveniences, their "outreach" must have looked a lot like our NIKO, including killing their own food. It was such an eye opening experience for me.

God really blessed me with my teammates. as well as my brothers and sisters in this DTS. We had such an upbeat group. and the positive mentality carried us through this challenging week. I saw many people shining, and many people impacted me in such a deep way. I am so grateful for the group of people I call my family here in YWAM.

I really do feel as if I conquered NIKO. I have anemia, so the hiking was not always easy for me. God literally gave me energy when I couldn't go any further. Going into NIKO I knew we'd be hiking a lot, although I didn't expect to be hiking up mountains in the dead of night! God truly sustained me and gave me supernatural energy to complete this week with a smile on my face.

If we have died with Him, we will also live with Him,
If we endure, we will also reign with Him
If we deny Him, He will also deny us
If we are faithless, He remains faithful - for He cannot deny Himself.
2 Timothy 1:11-13

Such a good week. So many people overcame. So many people grew closer to God, myself included. Something I will never forget.

NIKO - prayers please

2011-10-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

NIKO!!! NIKO!!! NIKO!!!!!

Tomorrow we leave for NIKO. It means "overcome." My bag is packed, complete with knife (which I may be slaying animals with) ... Future DTS students stop reading because this is a spoiler alert.

NIKO will last from tomorrow (Tues) to Friday. We have ONE bag, and a very strict packing list. No toilet paper. No soap. No deoderant. No toothpaste. Very few clothes, very little idea what we will be doing. I do not have a ton more information for you, but please pray for me!!! This week will be a challenge for all. I will blog again on Friday or Saturday once I'm back in a civilized part of Mexico!!

Week 4 - Justicia

2011-10-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

This week the lectures have been on Justice.

We have dealt with a lot of hard issues. We have been learning about human trafficking - and how this means more than just sex trafficking, it includes forced begging, organ trafficking, and child soldiers. We learned the profile of a trafficking victim, and how even in Ensenada people are trafficked. We learned the questions to ask to identify a trafficking victim, even something such as "Do you have your passport? What address are you staying at?" Oftentimes trafficking victims get moved around many times and their 'boss' will take away all their legal papers. The reality hit me that even in the Red Light District in Ensenada, there could be trafficked women there.

We learned about how pornography is NOT just damaging for those who view it, but how often the women and children in the videos are trafficked people. The supply of pornography seems endless, because there is an endless demand for it. We prayed over Ensenada and how even in this city there is sex trafficking. So much corruption. Poverty. Broken families. Uneducated kids. Sickness. Prostitution. Murder. Homelessness. Drug trafficking.

We spoke today about abortion. Abortion is called the "silent Holocaust" - 46 million babies a year are aborted around the world, DAILY. The statistics I have seen this week have absolutely broken my heart. The world is such a mess.

My question is - WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT. I can NOT and I WILL NOT sit around and do nothing about this. I am so angry right now, about all the injustices I have learned about this week. God has called us to go and make disciples of all nations - and that doesn't just mean bringing someone to church with you on Sunday morning. These issues are REAL. They aren't just happening in developing countries or places full of poverty. Human trafficking happens EVERYWHERE. Rape happens EVERYWHERE. Abortions happen ALL THE TIME. The world is full of CRAP because we fell into SIN.

My question to you is this. What are you going to do about it. Not tomorrow, not in a year, not "sometime". God has called us to action. He wants our heart to be broken for what breaks His heart. We need to raise awareness.Please. If any of what I have said has stirred something in you, take a look at these links. WHAT CAN YOU DO.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

http://www.makepovertyhistory.org/takeaction/

http://www.humantrafficking.org/

Week Three - Acts 1 Conference.

2011-10-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

      This past week the DTS staff and students packed up our bags and drove to Tijuana for the Acts 1 conference. YWAM Ensenada met up with YWAM LA and YWAM Tijuana. There were over 120 people there, and we represented 21 different nations!!
    Acts 1 talks about waiting on the Lord. "He ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said 'you heard from me, for John baptized with water but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.'" (verses 4-5). This whole week was about waiting on the Lord, waiting for what he would reveal to us. There was a lot of worship and many times of intercession for the nations. It was an incredible week of bonding with others and drawing closer to God.
    I have never experienced anything like Acts 1. This conference stretched me and God spoke many things into my life. The leaders in Tijuana have a vision of 200 000 young people doing God's work there. We prayed a lot for the Tijuana base and for their vision to become reality. It was an overwhelming week because Ensenada students had lectures on top of the conference. Basically we started our days at 7:30 for breakfast and did not end until after 9 pm. It was exhausting, in a good way. I write this blog from my bed in Ensenada, actually feeling quite ill. This week took a lot out of me emotionally and physically, so thank God for weekends and times to rest and recuperate!!
    Please pray I feel better soon!! Praise God for such an amazing conference, and for so many lives renewed in God (including my own!)

Week Two, and the Beginning of Acts 1 conference.

2011-10-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

Monday afternoon. I write this blog post from my bunk in Tijuana - we are staying here for a week for a conference called Acts 1 Conference. We will be going through a schedule of lectures and times of prayer.

Last week Sean Lambert led our lectures. He spoke about the origins of YWAM, and about how to disciple others. I had heard from some of the students in the secondary school in Ensenada that he was a boring speaker, so I admit I went in to lectures with somewhat of a bias. However, I quite enjoyed listening to him. He told about his life and his beginnings with YWAM. We also had the privilege of listening to Tym Kemp speak, and hear his story. His life inspires me!

Time and time again, I realize how blessed I am to be here. Mexico is a beautiful country. Many walks on the beach have happened, many sunsets and sunrises watched. God is truly an artist. Being back in the country I love, doing what I love, enjoying my YWAM family... Life is good :)

To all my Canadian friends... Happy Thanksgiving!!! There is much to be thankful for.

One Week.

2011-10-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

Well. It's been one week of lectures, and officially 9 days since I got to Mexico.

First off I need to say how much I love this group of people!! I can honestly say that I love each and every person here, staff and students alike. I love the diversity of our group - there are students here from Canada, USA, Mexico, Honduras, Germany and Holland. God has brought all of us here from different walks of life, and all with our own stories. Already I feel a sense of family!

I have 4 roommates. One speaks English, two are bilingual, and one speaks only Spanish. I like to fit myself in somewhere in the Spanglish category. I am learning a ton of Spanish, and I can converse in very rough Spanish. It's such a beautiful language, and so good to learn.

The first week of lectures have been incredible. I have seen God in so many ways already. We have had times of intercession, amazing times of worship, local outreach to the Red Light District, and lots of bonding time. Our lectures are wonderful, so much to learn!!

I will probably blog on Saturdays, since we have no lecture and it's essentially a free day.

- Sarah

DTS 2011!!!

2011-09-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, so long with no blog posts from me.

Just a short and sweet note to let all of you know I have safely arrived in Mexico!!! Today has potentially been one of the longest days I can remember. However it has been SO worth it. My alarm went off at exactly 3 am - I didn't sleep at all. Anyways, we left the house at 4, made it to the airport just before 5, and off we (Russell and I) went. In Vancouver, we bumped into Leith as well! Go figure, the 3 Canadian students all hail from Alberta and ended up on the same flights!!

Praise God too that Air Canada did not go on strike - today at least. We made it, our luggage made it, and if you know me at all you would not be surprised to hear that I have made many friends today :)

In the evening we had a bit of worship. I am so at peace at being back in Ensenada, and I believe God is going to change a lot of lives during this DTS.

And now, I am going to sleep :) I will post again soon, possibly with pictures of my "room".

26 days.

2011-08-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

August is nearly over. Which, for my roommates and many friends means returning to university. For me, it means that September is nearly here.. Which in turn means September 22 is nearly here... Which means flying to Mexico for DTS!!!!!!!!

Planning on keeping this post short and sweet. It has blown my mind how fast this summer has gone, and how close DTS is. Fundraising is going slow and steady. Every time I freak out that I will not have enough money I get a phone call from home saying I got a donation from someone at church, or a letter in a mail with a cheque enclosed. That being said, I am still in need of funds to pay for my outreach phase of this journey. God is good, and He will provide.

26 days. So much to do, so many people to say goodbye to or catch up with, so much to accomplish in that time. I am learning how to rely on God more and more every day, even though that scares me. Slowly things are falling into place. I feel at peace that doing this DTS and abandoning school for a year is exactly what God wants me to do.

Peace in the moment.

2011-08-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

So often lately I find myself worrying about things.

Not to the point that I'm developing an ulcer, but man, I have a lot to do before DTS. I feel like my thought process is like a record, caught on the same loop forever. "Sarah you have to buy travel insurance... buy flight ticket... raise more money... figure out where to live in February upon returning... JOB?!?!? ...see so many people before I go... say my goodbyes... oh my GOODNESS I am moving to MEXICO in 34 days..." etc, etc. It's a lot for one brain to handle!!! It seems as though the next 34 days will be packed with wayyyy too many things.

If we go through life worrying about what needs to be done, we miss moments.

I have had several bursts of inspiration lately, telling me to just relax. One was at the Edmonton Fringe Festival, I was drawn to one particular booth. A lady had brightly colored paintings that really caught my eye. I quickly found out that she integrated Bible verses into each of her paintings. One in particular caught my eye.. it was Luke 12:25.

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

It was such a beautiful painting, and such a good reminder to me!! The reminder I had was from my dear friend Matt, when we were skyping. He just told me to take time to relax, and not worry about anything because God is in control. Such simple words, but how quickly we forget them. Sometimes life can seem hectic. But when we remember to find peace in the moment, we will be blessed by God's grace. It's so refreshing to just take a breather and bask in God's wonderful mercy. Thanks, God.

"God doesn't want perfect people, He wants willing people!"

2011-08-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the most wonderful conversation with a man who has worked with YWAM for years. I was at a wedding, and my friend's parents called me over to introduce me to George. George has been working with YWAM for many years, and we hit it off right away.

In our conversations, he told lots of stories about his travels bringing teams of kids to Mission Adventures, and just how it touched their hearts, as well as his. I was telling him about my plans to do my DTS in September, and he was delighted. He told me one thing that really stayed with me - and that is that God doesn't want/need perfect people to be called into mission work, but He does however want willing people. That just stayed with me. I told him how I don't have all the funding at this moment to pay for this DTS but I'm willing to go anyways, and I have faith that God will provide. He really encouraged me in that, and that God WILL provide.

I also had a super encouraging time this evening. One of the guys from my DTS lives in Edmonton as well. We decided to meet for coffee. After a little investigating we found out.... the first time I lived in Edmonton, we were neighbors!!!! Literally!! My family rented half a duplex from his family for about a month while we were looking for a more permanent home. Russell and I have quickly become friends. I feel so blessed right now to have the opportunity to get to know Russell before this DTS even starts. Thanks God.

The Beginning - 60 days.

2011-07-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my blog!
This is my first attempt at blogging, and I'd love your feedback. Well, as titled, this post is about beginnings. I am on the verge of starting a new chapter of my life. In just 60 short days I will once again be stepping foot on the YWAM Ensenada, Mexico base for the September DTS (Discipleship Training School.)

The theme for this DTS is Passion, Presence and Pursuit. A description of the school can be found here:

http://ywamsandiegobaja.org/training/discipleship-training-school/dts-focuses/presence-passion-and-pursuit/

I hope you take a minute to check it out!! I cannot tell you how excited I am to be starting this journey. God has really placed this DTS on my heart, and I am so excited that it is ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!

Well right now I am just working on fundraising. The school runs around $6000. That's pretty steep for a college kid, however I am confident that God will provide!! I have already had a few donations that have completely blown my mind, but I still have a lot more to go. God is good. There will be a way!!

I'm currently just basking in how blessed I am to have this opportunity. I am SO stoked at the friends I've already met online, and how Facebook can actually be great in this kind of situation!! I've had the opportunity to connect with several people from this DTS already, and found out one member is also from Edmonton! How cool is that!! I wait in anticipation for the friendships that will grow, and just to see how God will use those people in my life to grow my faith, and just to bless so many.

My thoughts are pretty scattered right now, to be honest. I have a lot of things jumping around in my head, maybe not the best time to blog. However, I wanted to get this started as the countdown gets lower and lower - 60 days!! Please keep me in prayer as I continue to fundraise and just raise awareness about this DTS.

One last thought. This blog is entitled "If you feel just like a Tourist" - from one of my favorite bands right now, Death Cab For Cutie. Off their new album Codes and Keys, the song "You are a Tourist" is a personal favorite. The next few lines are:

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
There's so many different places to call home

I really resonate with the last line. There are lots of places to call home. Home is where my family is, and I miss them. Home is where my roommates are in the house I'm currently residing in. Home is in Ensenada, Mexico where my YWAM family is. Cannot wait to see that family grow. Cannot wait for all the new experiences. Cannot wait for what God is going to do in my life.

- Sarah