Their son Ryan has been sick his whole life, and close to death many times in his 18 years. Every time he's been really sick I have been meaning to go visit them; today I finally had the chance. Seeing Ryan attached to a tangle of IV's, tubes and the respirator took my breath away. As I grabbed his hand, I could feel the effort it took for him to close his grasp. But he did.
His communication right now is limited to thumbs up or down, or shaking or nodding his head because of the respirator. I was absolutely struck with the strength of Ryan's family right now. They fully rely on the Lord in this time, and are still able to joke around with their son. The amount of love they have for Ryan and for the Lord despite the hardships in their lives took my breath away today. Jackie and Clayton if you ever read this... please know how much you touched my life today. I saw the joy and the peace of the Lord in your eyes. I saw in Ryan determination and such a warrior's spirit.
God has been giving me the most profound experiences these last few days. Seeing Ryan left such a deep impact on my heart. This evening in church I found the letter I always keep tucked in my Bible. Last Tuesday at Edmonton Young Offenders Centre I received a letter from one of the guys there. One of the last lines reads "God is my homie, and so are you. Know that I will keep praying for you." I have been able to pour into this individual's life a lot in the last few weeks, and I see in him also a warrior spirit. This boy has been through a lot in his life; his dad is an alcoholic and his mom is in rehab. I see in him a warrior who hasn't discovered his potential yet. I pray every day that he will; and that God will just wreck him for the ordinary.
More and more I find life is overwhelming, and God just keeps blowing my mind. Sometimes my heart is raw, and I want to go back to YWAM so badly. But then God comes and speaks to my heart so tangibly that my path is in Canada right now, and all I can do is fall on my knees in worship.
You were near, Though I was distantDisillusioned I was lost and insecure
Still mercy fought, For my attentionYou were waiting at the door, Then I let You in
Trading Your life, For my offensesFor my redemption, You carried all the blame
Breaking the curse, Of our conditionPerfection took our place
When only loveCould make a wayYou gave Your lifeIn a beautiful exchange
My burden erase, my life forgivenThere is nothing, that could take this love away
My only desire, and sole ambitionIs to love You just the same
My only desire, and sole ambitionIs to love You just the same
When only loveCould make a wayYou gave Your lifeIn a beautiful exchange
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